Oral Fixation

Yesterday, L, who barely can communicate, walked over to the drawer with her bib, pulled it out, and walked over to her high chair and tried to get in it, all before I even started cooking. Before this, she also tried to eat dishwasher detergent. In the past, she has eaten dirt, and eats everything that looks remotely like food on the ground.

I will say though, her obsession with eating is really adorable, it gets annoying, like say, when I'm cutting raw potatoes that she definitely cant eat, and she keeps screaming until I feed her...but usually, pretty cute.

I skipped class and took a nap. Oops.

I also made myself some tortillas, with those I made French fajitas. French because my salsa disappeared so I had to improvise with cream fraische (f you spelling) and what I assume is cheese mixed with red peppers, then chicken and shallots, because there were only two onions left. But the tortillas were subliiiiiimmmmee, or at least acceptable. I think maybe they came out better last time, but it could have been the salsa.

At some point I plan to go upstairs and clean the kids rooms, but Im feeling pretty lazy.

Oh, I cut my hair on Wednesday, by myself. I trimmed up my bangs and snipped some off the end, so its a little more even. No one noticed, so I think thats a good thing.

Only like a month until my next triiipppp!!

Passive Agressive

Soooo, I'm in a difficult position. Thus far, I have had to work at least one night every weekend (including the Sunday when USA played Canada, the final one). Yesterday, I was told that I would have this weekend off-fantastic.

Tonight, I was asked if I have plans on Saturday. Okay. No, I don't have plans, but what je voudrais, is to have TWO full nights and TWO full days completely free to do, well, whatever I want. I know there's a contract out there that I signed agreeing to this, but I really don't think its fair to not let me have a single FULL weekend free. On top of this, several friends might be in town, and its one of the Au Pair's last weekends. Literally, every other au pair girl can do whatever whenever.

I'm really not sure what to do, but I feel like after a little bit of time this is really going to piss me off.

The worst part? I genuinely like these people, and I think they feel bad asking me to do this stuff, but it would be nice if I could at least get PAID extra to stay in on the weekends. In fact, as I'm writing this, I'm starting to feel more pissed off, and more panicky. I already work Thursday night (but really, I dont care, I'd be home anyway.) Tonight, I was cleaning up the kitchen, and they were asking me about what night I had plans, and I know S could tell I was unhappy, because I spent about 10 minutes cleaning out the drain (which really, had been bothering me for a few days) but she commented that I was really taking time to clean it...

I just dont know what to do.

Cou cou! (Currently my favorite word in French). So Happy Ides of March! (see-Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare). I mentioned it at the breakfast table, and no one knew what I was talking about, so whatever.

So the trains werent running yesterday. I was already in Paris, but Ailie walked about 8 kilometres to Poissy to find that THERE WERE NO TRAINS. This sucked for me, because the car that I was driving was at the Villenes sur Seine train station, past Poissy.

According to the French, there was an "aggression," or mugging, involving several youths and a train worker. I guess he asked for their tickets and they jumped him. Im not entirely sure why this shut down the entire train system 15 miles outside of Paris, but it did. Anyway, Ghad to pick up Ailie and I from the RER in Saint Germain en Laye, which Im sure, was a huge inconvenience.

Saint Patricks Day is on Wednesday, and Im trying to make something festive for the children. Right now, its looking like Sugar cookies and green sprinkles.

I pulled a muscle. Actually, several muscles. My entire right shoulder/spine is really sore. How did that happen? Probably had something to do with lugging 13 + kg (30 lbs) of baby up and down the stairs everyday. I've been trying to get the kids to walk on my back, but they dont like it as much as I thought they would. When I asked T, he responded with "No! I dont like!" Just like when I ask him to get in the bath he says, "No! I dont want!" In fact, his favorite English word seems to be "No."

I'm going to try to go shopping today.

Its Friday, and I babysit tonight, and tomorrow night. Im missing out on a kick ass night in Paris Im sure, but theres not much I can do.

A second ago, as I was doing some good old fashioned American FB stalking, I had a thought go through my head.

What the hell am I doing?

Its easy for me, sometimes, to forget about other places/friends/lives that Ive had. Instead, I create my own little world, and I find it very difficult to remember details from the other ones. For example, Ive only been in France for about 6 weeks? Yet I can hardly remember what I was doing right before I came out here. It feels like the United States is another lifetime away...On that note, I have no idea what things will be like when I go back to the United States. Im wondering how my life would be if I had stayed there.

But really, what am I doing in France?

I dont speak the language, I know very little about the culture, yet here I am; a French resident, a LEGAL French resident. Im trying to get my OWN cell phone contract, in my name! I dont even have that in the United States! Ive been on dates with French boys, and I can easily navigate French public transit, hell, I even drive on French roads!

I think Im beginning to forget who I am.

Also, I popped a blood vessel in my eye. I think it looks bad ass.